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April 2013

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Apr. 21st, 2013

Yuuko

You live, you learn

Those previous posts, I regret them.
Then again, I don't. I felt like that at the time. I was overreacting. I was being too passionate about some things I knew deep inside didn't matter all that much. But at the time it hurt just the same.
It's funny how we can see so clearly after some time has passed what we couldn't see during our moments of turmoil.
I discovered so many other things, met other people after those unfortunate moments... I was obsessed with someone who was nothing alike me and who didn't like me. My suffering was basically motivated by my inability to perceive this and let go.

I don't want to be this angry and solitary person anymore. I want to try and live.

Now I feel good. I have other things in my mind, other people in my life. I've met one person that has become so quickly really important, my best friend. Whatever happens, I want this person in my life, a great friendship, if that's all that it's supposed to be.

It's hard finding such sync, such closeness. I did and I'm thankful.

Mar. 18th, 2012

tree

So long ago...

I needed to write something... just anything.
Much has changed in my life since I last wrote here. I've done many things I didn't expect to actually do, I changed my appearance, my way of interacting with people, some of my views. There were quite a few happy moments in these past few months.
But I did something and I've might have ruined one of the best (if not the most suitable) thing that happened to me.
I'm fully aware that there's no future in this, that it's just for the moment, but I don't want the moment to end one minute earlier than it has to.
So please, please... the force in the Universe that rules things, if it exists and whatever form it takes... I ask that he will simply forgive me and forget the things I said and demanded.
There's only two months left for us to see each other everyday, I want to live them to the fullest, not as if we were strangers or simply acquaintances.

I know things don't work this way, simply asking for help from a higher power. But I had to get this out of my chest somehow, and also write it down how hard and horrible I feel right now, so I'll remember the feeling if I get the urge to behave beastly like that again.

Learn from your mistakes, girl... that's actually all you can ask from life.

Mar. 13th, 2011

Edward Scissorhands (eating peas)

Yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed

I *love* the movie Corpse Bride, I was watching it the umpteenth time this weekend, so, just to post something, here's the lyrics for one of the songs in the movie.
I normally dislike musicals and movies with songs in it, but I love this one, it's so beautiful!


MAGGOT
What does that wispy little brat have that you don't have double?

BLACK WIDOW
She can't hold a candle to the beauty of your smile

CORPSE BRIDE
How about a pulse?

MAGGOT
Overrated by a mile

BLACK WIDOW
Overbearing

MAGGOT
Overblown

MAGGOT AND BLACK WIDOW
If he only knew the you that we know

CORPSE BRIDE
(sigh)

BLACK WIDOW
And that silly little creature isn't wearing his ring

MAGGOT
And she doesn't play piano

MAGGOT AND BLACK WIDOW
Or dance

MAGGOT
Or sing

MAGGOT AND BLACK WIDOW
No she doesn't compare

CORPSE BRIDE
But she still breathes air

BLACK WIDOW
Who cares?

MAGGOT
Unimportant

BLACK WIDOW
Overrated

MAGGOT
Overblown

MAGGOT AND BLACK WIDOW
If only he could see
How special you can be
If he only knew the you that we know

CORPSE BRIDE
If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain
If you cut me with a knife it's still the same
And I know her heart is beating
And I know that I am dead
Yet the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
For it seems that I still have a tear to shed

MAGGOT
The sure redeeming feature
From that little creature
Is that she's alive

BLACK WIDOW
Overrated

MAGGOT
Overblown

BLACK WIDOW
Everybody know that's just a temporary state
Which is cured very quickly when we meet our fate

MAGGOT
Who cares?

BLACK WIDOW
Unimportant

MAGGOT
Overrated

BLACK WIDOW
Overblown

MAGGOT AND BLACK WIDOW
If only he could see
How special you can be
If he only knew the you that we know

CORPSE BRIDE
If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain
In the ice or in the sun it's all the same
Yet I feel my heart is aching
Though it doesn't beat it's breaking
And the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
I know that I am dead
Yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed

Sep. 12th, 2010

rainy days

someday we'll know why I wasn't made for you

I feel like writing here now 'cause I feel like unloading my frustration a bit.
It's so, so hard to just keep going when you feel like where you're going is nowhere. It's so hard to wish for things that, deep down, you have the feeling you won't get. And when you think hard about it, you don't even know if you really want them. Or you question yourself wanting them just because you feel like you can't have them.
For once I just wanted to have what I want. Not what's best, not what'll make me happy. Just what I want. I'm tired of wishing. I'm tired of having the things my way only in my head. Right now, I'm not worried about suffering afterwards. If that's what'll happen if I get what I want, I deal with it, like always dealt with things that make me suffer 'cause I didn't get what I wanted.
I know that maybe I should do something so the things I want will come true, but I guess that's part of my wish, that things will happen regardless of my actions.
Could I please, just this once, get what I want?

Apr. 22nd, 2010

Autumn

Moments

If everyday was as good as today was
Then I can't wait 'till tomorrow comes
Tags:

Apr. 21st, 2010

Wandering

I wish I felt nothing

Say when you're alone
It's better 'cause nobody knows you
When no one's your friend
It's better 'cause nobody leaves you
So you turned your back
On a world that you could never have
'Cause your heart's been cracked
And everyone else's is goin' mad

But I hear voices
And I see colors
But I wish I felt nothing
Then it might be easy for me
Like it is for you

Now all of these people
Come up from deep holes
Pullin' you down
And it's just no use
When all the abuse follows you down
By the morning you've gone
Leavin' me here all alone
Sayin' it's no mystery
I know that nobody here needs me

But I hear voices
And I see colors
But I wish I felt nothing
Then it might be easy for me
Like it is for you

And I know you believe that you and me don't belong here
And the worst we could do
Is keep trying to pretend we care
Tags:

Jan. 26th, 2010

tree

Brain workout

Hmm... I'm thinking that maybe I should place links to my most used tags and to the tags page and get that huge mess out of my sidebar.



Watch me thinking but doing nothing about it.

Dec. 10th, 2009

Mad Hatter

Writer's Block: Go it alone

Do you think society puts too much pressure on people to be in relationships and/or have children? Do you think this ostracizes people who would be perfectly content to remain single and/or child-free? Is this pressure worse around the holidays?


I think so. People in general think getting married and having kids it's the utmost happiness, what people should live for, and I suppose, these people being the majority, they make those that are just fine being by themselves a little frustrated, asking themselves whether they're wrong in being like that.
I suppose nobody should really care what other people think about their choices. Every one has their own life to live and they should be entitled to live however they think will make them happy. It's just a little annoying how sometimes people look at you pityingly, because you're "all alone and thus can't get married and have children." I should know... Seriously, there's more to life than that.

About it being worse around the holidays, that part I don't really agree. I guess there's a widespread thought that people should be with their families at this time of the year, but that doesn't necessarily mean husband/wife and kids, it can be your parents, for instance.

Nov. 21st, 2009

eclipse quote

19 New Moon Icons

Who knows why I made these? I think it was mostly because I thought the pictures were pretty enough.

1. Credit sunako_o if using, please.
2. No hotlinking.
3. I'd love to read your comments!
4. Preview:


Everything endsCollapse )

Oct. 14th, 2009

Autumn

oh boy

SERIOUSLY!?!

I had to come back here as soon as I finally went to look who had been cast as Jane and Alec in New Moon and then... Dakota Fanning, seriously? Goodness.

And here I was, thinking that since I like Bella more now, that Jacob isn't as annoying, that maybe, maybe I'd like New Moon as a movie since I really disliked it as a book. But I can't honestly see how Dakota Fanning will be able to make a believable Jane.

I so want to be wrong.

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